Waiting

I didn’t want
to interfere
would wait
until it was fine
to call.

To wait
was the dumbest thing
I’ve ever done
in my life
now you are no more.

You were the best
friend I had
and I waited
too long
not to interfere.

The grief paralyzes
it rips in me
shredding me
to small parts
tears are not enough.

You are no more
but you will always
be in my heart
and by my side
when I am dead.

The Suffering

Puddles on the ground
on the floor
the dishes – vast pile
a mountain of dirty clothes
meets me
when I get home.

The home
the fortress
it’s waiting for me
like a monumental tombstone.

The walls are black
as night
windows found not
why should I have windows?

I need not look out
I will not gaze out
the world’s sufferings
have enough suffering myself
need not other’s
in addition!

Sorrow

My name is Sorrow
I visit you
when you least expect it
I come uninvited
open the doors myself.

You can never hide
I will always find you
I hang over you
like a thick blanket of darkness
You can not escape.

I grab hold of you
and will not easily go
I follow your steps
from birth to death.

I shut you in
your darkest room
close the curtains
and let the rain pour
down over you
I am persevering
like the ocean waves.

Perfect

I wanna be
the perfect man
in your life
the man who
watches over you
takes care of you.

I wanna be
with you
when you need
care and comfort
give you nearness and warmth
when you least expect it.

I wanna be
the one who nurses you
when you are ill
the one who wrap
you in warm
blankets and quilt
when you freezes.

I wanna be
he who speaks
with you
not to you
cry together
with you
hold
your hand
when you’re afraid.

I wanna be
the bedrock itself
you can hold on to
when the ground crumbles
the lion who protects you
when danger threats
and the eagle
who lifts you
above the abyss.

I wanna be
yours, my love
only your
perfect man.

_____
Hear me read it: